God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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