There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize