It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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