im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it glows. i had to have it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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