So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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