Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
