Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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