Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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