And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
