so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You can't just leave with hair like that
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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