you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize