Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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