her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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