i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
