u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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