No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
