as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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