I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
