Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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