on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
