Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize