My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
