i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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