ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
