Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize