Plan B is the new Plan A
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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