Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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