So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
