you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
