why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
