they need to just BURY HIM!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
