You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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