told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
