So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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