You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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