I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
