Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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