She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
