i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize