who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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