I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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