she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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