I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
