You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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