well you can't waste a boner
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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