Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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