at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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