sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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