First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
