did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
