I hope mine doesn't look like that
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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