smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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