as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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