Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
