Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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