I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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