I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
