my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
