U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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