Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
