tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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