i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
